10 Funny One Liners

1). Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2). Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

3). The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

4). If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

5). Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If in an emergency, notify:" I put "PRESIDENT." I figure he’ll be better equipped to deal with the situation than my mother.

6). Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

7). I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-husband and me. After all, I'm a Libra and he's a son-of-a-bitch.

8). There is only one thing more annoying than a religious zealot and that’s a zealous atheist. The former are fighting for their beliefs, while the latter are just wasting everyone’s time.

9). When women talk it’s gossip but when men talk they it's conversation.

10). No point blaming Eve over apple-gate, how was she to know that that would be the one time Adam listened to her advice?